dried up - a note on routine

THAT time that i dreaded has come again.

Ever feel like your life suddenly feels like a routine. At first you have no problem with routine. The routine acts as a safeguard to unpredictable situations that you are not ready to face. The routine makes your life feel secure, grounded, tangible. It all feels alright at first.

But something scary happens after this step. The routine actually becomes a routine. It's the only that's occuring in your life. Nothing really new, nothing really depressing, nothing really anything. The routine bores the soul-the individual.

What comes after this boredom?

Well some try to escape this boredom by searching, in desperation, for something that will SPICE one's life. In some cases, you succeed and you feel a great sense of rekindling of the fire that seemed to have died out. In other cases, you put yourself in danger and you find yourself in a predicament. Meaning, you just made things worse for yourself!

In my case, I'm just bored. My life is FINE. My life is NORMAL. Many people may actually want this, since thier life is currently in extreme fluctuation mode. But as the old saying goes, NOBODY and I mean NOBODY is ever satisfied with themselves. This becomes the factor that motivates human beings to DO something about it. To either go UP or DOWN. or just to stay STILL which is also a choice that anyone can make other than UP/DOWN.

For me. This routine has just got to me. I am bored. Bored. BORED. I feel like my passion for things have DRIED UP. I want change. I want difference. I want adventure. But at the same time, it doesn't mean I have given up on life or anything--I love myself way too much to do such a thing ("NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER" - Toys Story). But I am hoping, waiting, and pursuing to do something about this situation.

I am not worried because it's just a phase. I am ready to absorb and expeirence this phase to its fullest. I am going to suck this all in and digest it and get it out of my system. I just hope it doesn't take too long, don't want to be "constipated" at this moment because it will only DELAY the "processing" of this phase.

So, in order to begin the start of my battle with routine. I write a letter.


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To Routine,

I FUCKING HATE YOU! I want you OUT OF MY LIFE!

Sincerely,
Hoon.